Inside The The Vigana

and' mental illness and there is no cure

This stupid little work of two money made from time to time for a few dollars to spend on me is tearing.


"where are you"

"I'm Italian"

"I am Croatian, I came here 26 years ago. 15. Then I was wrong. I now live in here for 9 years, but next week I go out !

"nice to go out and where are you going?"

"going fishing, going to sea and I take a bath, but rather do both. You have big eyes. Are great even when you smile. You have to put that black thing (Mimes the gesture), the one that you put women on eyebrows. give me 2 more toast? "

" ah mascara, I put you in a while. Ask the nurse if I can "

" not always put it. are great, you see everything inside. remain large even when you smile. you put it? "

" I put it, fine. I promise, next time ... "


Next time ... I've put my mascara. I made this morning at 5 am, before the turn. I asked the supervisor of give me the breakfast shift at Cedars, your ward.
But you were not there this morning. And I'm sick now.
Last night you thought well, that your head a bit 'suffering, to leave.
're fishing right? I know you're at sea. Myself I always go there '.
There was such confusion in the hospital.
you the fifth patient this year.
My mascara and 'cast, all in the face. My colleagues gave me 15 minutes free, go to your room.
Nurses, doctors, security, say that you were extremely ill and dangerous, that was not the first time we tried.
Be 'you did this time. You choked with the sheets. What idiocy, you were crazy.
's my mascara has continued to stain the face and heart.
and big eyes are full of tears now.

They say it's' good to see staff who fail to establish emotional ties with patients.
I did not have an emotional bond with you. I will only preparing meals and talked, sometimes two to three minutes.
Maybe I thought not having it.
Pero 'I had made a promise. And I would not keep the promises I make. And now it hurts

-damn-bad but I know and care 'in one breath.
care, there are dicks that take, and 'life itself.
E 'love and' love. Every day, every minute, every second. Until 'and there'.

Pero 'now I can not. Today I need to shut down, I need to be crouched on the floor. Today, you really do not have access to my world, I do not get out the words, I can solve this mess, I do not see opening.
Today, just for today, I have no happy thoughts.
If there 'someone to listen who want to share one, give one of his own, a sign, a drawing, I'm here.